Happy Birthday Little Z!

I was driving home from the gym this morning and without any warning, began to sob. It was the strangest thing, I was trying to tell myself to calm down, get a grip, pull it together. I had this flood of emotions and memories, as if it were yesterday, and in an instant all of the feelings I had experienced this day two years ago came back...all at once. I remembered being scared, excited, worried, and feeling terribly insufficient to be a good mother. I remembered the extreme heartache of hearing that Randy and Teri had lost their baby the very same morning I was induced. I remember feeling more grief for her than I had ever felt for anyone else...I still cry when I tell that story. It was crazy, and after a good cry, it was over, and I regained my composure, returned home and made my birthday boy some special blueberry muffins! I am so thankful for him, and so thankful to be a mom! I don't know if I will ever truly forget those emotions. I don't think I will ever be able to talk about Teri's loss without crying...but I don't think i want to. I don't want to look back and remember a sugar coated experience. Those grainy, tough memories are sometimes the very memories that put me into check and remind me how very very blessed I am to have him!
Here's to you baby Z! Mommy loves you!